Saturday, 6 September 2014

Vegan MoFo 2014 - Filthy Toxic Hot Chocolate

Last night, Mike wanted to make hot chocolate. I'm not the best at remembering ratios and stuff for how I like my hot chocolate, so I looked up some recipes to jog my memory. And boy howdy did I not like what I saw. Yes, there was a how to that took 10 steps even though it called for hot chocolate mix and a microwave. But then I saw a recipe that called for cashews (with an hour+ soaking time) and dates. And then I saw some of my most hated words - paleo, no refined sugar, clean eating.

Nope.  Nope nope nope.

Friends, these are not words and ingredients to be used in connection with hot chocolate.

Hot chocolate is a treat. It should have sugar. It should not have dates. And it sure as shit wasn't around in the palaeolithic era.

Instead of my righteous rant against food policing and woo peddling, I give you a recipe for hot chocolate rich in most of the things that are freaking people out right now (I don't have any MSG so couldn't include everything).

Filthy Toxic Hot Chocolate
Serves 2

Handful of chocolate chips
1 c soy creamer
1 c soy milk (more/less depending on how you like it)
1/4 c cocoa (I used Hershey's to make it extra dirty)
1/4 c sugar (more/less to taste - probably less for most people because I like mine super sweet)
1/4 tsp vanilla extract
Pinch of salt
Mini marshmallows

Place the chocolate chips and a couple tablespoons of the creamer in a small saucepan over medium-low heat and stir until melted. Slowly stir in the remaining creamer. In a separate small bowl, make a paste of the cocoa powder and sugar with some of the soy milk.  When it's as lumpless as possible, add it to the pan along with the rest of the milk. Add in the salt and heat to your desired temperature. Remove from the heat and stir in the vanilla.

Pour into two mugs and top with mini marshmallows.

I used the new Freedom micro mallows, which contain both carrageenan and hydrolysed soy protein! In case you're keeping track, that's non-organic processed soy, fat, sugar, salt, and carrageenan all in one delicious cup of hot chocolate. It was like drinking a melted candy bar.

Sorry about the terrible picture - it was late when I made it.

If you're even remotely familiar with me, you know that I'm all about comfort and convenience foods, so this ramping up of food shaming (which, let's be realistic, is mostly aimed at and hurts women, and disproportionately restricts non-animal foods) is really pissing me off.  Luckily I'm not the only one.  PPKer MissMuffcake's theme is about vegan finds at Target and was spurred by a series of posts about food shaming.  And really, the PPK is great for calling out food policing and woo.  Because veganism is about the animals, first and foremost, and restricting yourself until you have almost nothing to eat doesn't help the animals (especially when you decide that veganism is the problem and go back to eating them).

So, fuck food shaming.  Eat what you want and do the least harm possible.


  1. I was so worried carrageenan wouldn't get included ;)

  2. Yay for less woo! Hot chocolate (and cake, and cookies, etc etc) is meant to be tasty and indulgent. I hate when people assume vegan = nothing that anyone could argue is "unhealthy".

    Is creamer the same as soy cream? I'm not sure we have that here.

    1. Yeah, I should've said cream instead of creamer. That's the American coming out! I used Alpro soya single cream in the wee UHT carton.

  3. Hi, you are amazing and I think I love you. I'm of the belief that comfort food should be comforting, not "healthy." Bring on the dirty cocoa!

  4. Hi five friend! Gimme alla that soy and carrageenan and MSG!

  5. Couldn't agree more! Fuck food shaming.

  6. Great post -- both for the hot chocolate & for your words against food shaming! :)